Dundonian for Beginners - Tuning your ear

TUNING YOUR EAR - STAGE 1

Find yourself a bench to sit on, preferably in the City Centre, and secure all loose items of clothing. Get yourself sitting comfortably and close your eyes. By having your eyes closed, the natives will think that you are asleep and consequently leave you to your own devices, therefore extinguishing any chance of premature conversation. At this stage you will no doubt hear a variation of sounds that you already recognise, cars, buses, footsteps etc. Block out all the sounds that you recognise, (use self-hypnosis if it helps) while at the same time try to analyse the sounds that you don't recognise.

As I said before, this is not as simple as it sounds. It is probably on the same par as learning to read and write. (Analysing the black bits and ignoring the white.) One of the strange sounds that you will repeatedly hear is the sound, 'Eh.' At first you might think that the 'Eh' sound is being produced by a flock of seagulls circling overhead, and you would be right, after all, they are Dundonian seagulls. To be able to distinguish the difference between the Dundonian seagull 'Eh' and the Dundonian human 'Eh' you will either have to totally wipe out all seagull colonies within a sixty mile radius, or instead, use the more simpler method ... Move on to stage 2.